One last variable is that, they need to care enough about you, to learn "you" and how to read you. And if it's mutual, then I will call that a "friendship". A friend is not someone who necessarily agrees with you, but is someone who can tell you what you are and what you need, when you can't think straight.
(2) A very typical date [and why they don't ever work, should be transparent!]
- Do you consider yourself a person with many friends?
- Yes, I guess so.
- How would you explain that?
- I never get bored, I will find friends who are doing something whenever I want to.
- Friends? how do you define a "friend"?
- People I hang out with.
- How about close friends?
- Ummm,... [confused smile] people I can connect with at a deeper level.
- What's deep?
- Take Seth for example, we go climbing together four times a week, we have a lot of fun. He is also an engineer, so we connect at that level too. We view engineering from the same perspective.
- [pause, grin] This is the first time tonight, you sound like an American.
- [uncomfortable laughter] Yeah? what's your definition of friendship?
- I won't tell you, the envy will kill you.
PS: I know I'm not being very nice or forgiving, but that's my prerogative and I'm tired. Very very tired and unenthusiastic.
PPS: Like Sumire from Sputnik sweetheart, I write to understand who I am. I need to understand who I am, because I don't know.